Confusion as the Source of Problems

The following excerpt is from the Berzin archives, found here at the link below.  I'll make some remarks regarding daily practice and Buddhism in daily life as I experience it.

http://www.berzinarchives.com/web/en/archives/sutra/level1_getting_started/

general_introductory_material/

dharma_daily_life.html

I find that these words are very true for me. I find that most of my problems are created out of fear or confusion.  Very often it is fear.  And the self and other problem that Dr. Berzin refers to is quite true. We spend our time polarizing rather than embracing so much of the time because we are unable to truly see the nature of our existence.  We confuse dependently arisen objects as being true, real, and separate.  By doing so we become accidentally narcissistic and can easily stray from the bodhisattva ideal and the very basic perfection of dana. While taming the mind is a lot of work, I do believe that it's possible.  I have to believe that, (even if it takes aeons).  With enough time, practice, circumstances and blessings, we may even achieve some understanding of the true nature of reality.

If we explore confusion, we see that one aspect of it is confusion about behavioral cause and effect. We are confused about what to do or say and about what will happen as a result. We can be very confused about what type of job to get, whether to get married, whether to have children, etc. If we get into a relationship with a person, what will the result be? We do not know. Our ideas of what will follow from our choices are really just fantasies. We might think that if we get into a deep relationship with a certain person, we will live happily ever after, like in a fairy tale. If we are upset in a situation, we think that yelling will make it better. We have a very confused idea about how the other person is going to respond to what we do. We think that if we yell and speak our minds, we will feel better and everything will be all right, but everything will not be all right. We want to know what will happen. We desperately look at astrology or throw coins for The Book of Changes, the I Ching. Why do we do things like that? We want to be in control of what happens.

Buddhism says that a deeper level of confusion is confusion about how we and others exist and about how the world exists. We are confused about the whole issue of control. We think that it is possible to be totally in control of what happens to us. Because of that, we get frustrated. It is not possible to always be in control. That is not reality. Reality is very complex. Many things influence what happens, not just what we do. It is not that we are totally out of control or manipulated by external forces either. We contribute to what happens, but we are not the sole factor that determines what happens.

Because of our confusion and insecurity, we often actdestructively without even knowing that it is destructive behavior. This is because we are under the influence of disturbing emotions, disturbing attitudes, and the compulsive impulses that come up from our habits. Not only do we act destructively toward others; we primarily act in self-destructive ways. In other words, we create more problems for ourselves. If we want fewer problems or liberation from our problems, or even further, the ability to help others to get out of their problems as well, we need to acknowledge the source of our limitations.